comparison-the thief of joy

It is in my earliest memories. It is how I have dealt with every situation in my life. Good or bad, happy or sad, it is the crutch I lean on. And it is wrong. Comparison. It is something I have always struggled with and continue to ask the Lord for help with on a daily basis. 

One of my earliest memories is with one of my best friends, Lauren. She is three months older than me, but was a grade ahead of me in school. Which of course meant that she was the coolest thing around. And I wanted to be just like her. One day we were coloring, Beauty and the Beast, if memory serves me right, and she was knockin' it out of the park. I was struggling, not coloring exactly in the lines and I was SO frustrated (I have a bit of a perfectionist problem-but that's a whole other post) I would color, mess up and tear up my page. I would then start on a new one and start the whole process over again.

I'm always a little stunned that I can remember this so vividly because I am not one that remembers a lot from my childhood. It doesn't seem like a memory that should be monumental. But I do know that there are certain childhood memories the Holy Spirit reminds me of on a regular basis to help me, and this is one of them.

"But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you" John 14:26

Comparison is a double-sided monster. On the one side you compare yourself to someone, and decide that you are worse than they are. Your weight, hair style, your fingernail polish, whatever. And then on the other hand, you compare yourself and you decide you are better than them. It's not true and it's not biblical.  It will destroy you if you let it get out of hand. The Bible says,  " we demolish arguments and pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5. Comparison is a toxic thought and you must take it captive. It will cause you to make decisions you never thought you would make and it will hinder or even ruin your relationships. 

 Plain and simple, the root of comparison is Pride.

Ouch. I remember the day the Holy Spirit revealed that truth to me. I was full of Pride. It started at a young age and had been such a lifestyle to me that I hadn't realized that is what it was. This issue had completely taken over my thought life. In every situation I was in I would compare myself. I was constantly anxious and it was exhausting. When I chose to humble myself I was immediately filled with peace and I started to learn contentment. This is a perfect example of why I am so head over heels in LOVE with the Holy Spirit. He didn't want me to continue to suffer in this way. He corrected me gently because He wanted to be able to bless me. And He will not bless pride. You will be humble. If not by your own choice, He will certainly humble you. It is a process I have been through many times, and it is not fun.

Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished. Proverbs 16:5

Since that day I have asked Him to show me my pride. It has been like peeling an onion, little by little, and I know I have just scratched the surface. Instead of it being overwhelming, I remember Philippians 1:6 "For I am sure of this very thing, that the one who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

He will continue to gently correct me, I will choose to listen and we will walk this journey side by side until He returns. What an amazing thought.