This is a post that has been a long time coming. It's long, and it's personal. But I need to say it, so bear with me. 

 For the last two years, Josh and I have been trying to move to Texas. To understand the magnitude of this, you have to understand a little bit about me first. I was born and raised in Colorado. I have never lived anywhere else. My family is here, our friends are here, this is my home. I have never had a desire to move and have always said that God would have to specifically call me to another place for me to move away. Well, that happened. Two years ago I was standing in the church I grew up in, was married in and planned to stay in, when I saw Josh and I living in Amarillo. I am very visual and I believe God shows me things so that I pay attention. I was hoping it was just something I ate, so I made a little deal with God. I told Him the only way I would move, and the way I would know it was really Him, was if He changed my heart to the point that I had no desire to live here anymore. It took a week. I told Josh and we began praying about it. We decided that is where God called us to be and so the journey began. There is an amazing church in Amarillo that we stay very connected with when we visit and we consistently listen to their podcasts. This place became home to us. The company my husband works for is also in Amarillo and so he began trying to transfer. It proved to be harder than we would ever have thought. Every door shut. Every job he applied for was filled. In June of this year, he applied for the position that he currently has. He went through all of the interviews and did well. We prepared to move. I went through all of our stuff, put it in a garage sale. We were ready.

He didn't get the job. 

We were devastated, frustrated and angry. We had put everything on hold for two years while we waited for this move and it fell through. We felt like we had done everything we could, to do what God had called us to. We built our dreams around this place. We made plans and we put our hope in it. 

The day after we found out, I felt so odd. I felt relieved. At peace. Content. I hadn't had those feelings for a long time. I asked God to tell me why. Had we gotten it wrong? Why was I feeling this way? 

Here is what He showed me: 

We created an idol out of what God called us to. 

We were completely obsessed. It's all we talked about, thought about, prayed about. And even though this started out as God's plan, we made it ours. We decided that this was the end all, be all of His plan for us. We were hell bent on getting there. We took our eyes off of the Planner and put them on the plan. We became prideful and He humbled us. 

When we realized that this whole thing was never about us, we got some healing. 

This was never our plan. It was His. And if He decides it isn't time, it isn't the right job or even the right place anymore, then we will be obedient. We will go where He calls us. If He eventually calls us to Amarillo, we will go. But if He does not, we are OK with that. We took this very long, very humbling journey for very specific reasons, some of which I am not willing to share publicly, but know this: we now have our eyes on Him. We have peace in our home, and we are content. He has pulled us out of the pit of pride once again and we are forever grateful.

An idol is usually made out of something that started as a blessing. 

We are the ones that turn it into an idol by choosing to make it about us. 

This has been one of my favorite songs for a while now. It moves me to repentance every time I hear it. 

These are my favorite lines: 

Anything I put before my God is an idol

Anything I want with all my heart is an idol

Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol

Anything I give all my all my love is an idol 

Clear the Stage, Jimmy Needham

God is so good my friends. 

         Blessings, 

                  Dainele